Thursday, August 30, 2007


this is pretty much my favorite person ever.
we spent my birthday playing ski-ball, fake basketball, a little mario kart, and being generally awesome.
though i don't smoke, i adore tiny things. like coffee and cigarettes. teeny tiny!
a very fun birthday, with a way too delicious dinner, and not enough play dough.

Monday, August 27, 2007

generally bitchy

i need a haircut.
my bangs are way too long.
i hate being home.
i hate the internet.
not really, just uverse.
it's pretty cool seeing only 45 seconds of an hour long show.

arrested development makes my day only slightly better.


jessica alba is NOT HOT

Sunday, August 26, 2007

this that and the other

  • it's so embarrassing but i cannot stop watching the fashionista diaries. it is seriously terrible and cheesy, but oh so wonderful for just those reasons. i wish i could talk trash about nicole with someone. seriously, when nicole quit, those leopard print leggings? i loved the socialite that was a total dickwad to bridget and called her "monkey." but enough.
  • i've applied for some more jobs, there is one i really want. it would be fun and a departure from my norm, and i think that freaks my mom out. i have a feeling that no matter what job i take she'll be disappointed. kenton and i are trying to figure out a "bigger plan" and for now that means taking a temporary job, and i'd like this one in particular because it seems fun and the best in the bunch. mystery!
  • the "bigger plan" terrifies me.
  • a cat is sneezing in the bedroom, it's pretty much the most adorable noise i've ever heard and she did it four times. kitty allergies!
  • my birthday is tuesday and this is my big wish: house, please clean yourself. thanks magic!
  • ever since i got back from san antonio i've been pretty bummed out at home all day. i want a job. i miss target shopping and buying dinner and having something to do. plus, having money to pay some bills. that little ol thing... birthday magic, get on that too. i really hope temporary dream job works out. i need to find something to wear.

Friday, August 24, 2007

san antonio

last wednesday andrew, my dad, and i took off to san antonio. my grandfather had been sick for a while, but it had suddenly been getting worse since the big anniversary party. my dad had been going to see him on the weekends, but this time he asked the two of us to come along.
we got there on a very stormy day, the city was flooding. we got to the house at about 5:30 am, and went into the bedroom to say hello to my grandfather. he was sleeping so andrew and i were in and out, then crashed in the tv room. we woke up a few hours later and it was still dark and stormy out. the whole house was so dreary, it definitely was not the house i spent my childhood summers in. i'm used to that house having seven granddaughters running around, plus that one grandson. there was always something going on there, someone to talk to or tease, always someone laughing or yelling.
once we dragged ourselves off the couch, we went into the bedroom again. he still wasn't very responsive, but we said hi again anyway. shortly after that, we were sent out of the room.
back to the tv room! we watched some movies, ate some lunch, watched some more movies and didn't see my grandfather again till dinnertime. he was at the dining table, my grandmother was giving him something pale and creamy. he looked so miserable. andrew and i are very similar in that we don't know what to do in uncomfortable situations. some of my cousins were there, carrying on like normal. one of them came in and started chatting away immediately to my grandfather. he was unresponsive, but she went on and on anyway. is that what we're supposed to do? it didn't feel right. soon after dinner he went to bed and andrew and i hung around till it was time to go over to my other grandparents' where we were staying the night.

friday morning my grandmother came into the room andrew and i were staying in and told us my dad had called and said we had to go over to his parents' house immediately, his dad had gotten much worse.
he passed away at about 12:20 pm, in his room, surrounded by family.
my grandmother loved him so much, and i never saw it as much as i did that day. they had such a special relationship and i still can't imagine her without him. their lives weren't always perfect, but they never pretended it was. they were as real as they could be.
my grandmother held onto his hand as long as she could, she really really loved him.

this is where things started getting uncomfortable and frustrating for me. they hadn't even come to take the body, but people were coming to the door. just leave this family alone for a bit, please. i understand people going to the house to give condolences, but just wait a bit. and of course they all bring food. but this is san antonio, so it's 98% mexican food, with 2% barbecue. how much rice and beans does a grieving family need? and in such large quantities! when my mom got into town on saturday she and my dad went to the store to stock up on gladware, i think they should've gotten the foodsaver or some garbage bags.

monday was the rosary and the church was full, people were standing in the back even. what made me sad was seeing all these people go by my grandmother and they would hug her and talk to her and i could picture him right by her. i saw him in church, stopping someone they knew so he could introduce us to them. "hey! these are my granddaughters!" and he always put andrew by himself "this is my grandson." as the only boy out of eight grandkids, he got that special attention. i just saw him, one hand on one of our shoulders, the other reaching out to this person he wanted us to meet. and there was my grandmother, right by his side. they were almost always together. he was such a friendly personable man, it was hard to see him in the past year. his whole presence changed. that booming voice that had no problem putting one of us girls back in line, gone. that dominating body and walk, gone.

tuesday was the funeral and the church was packed. i couldn't believe all the people that had come. so many people knew and respected him. there were people all the way up in the choir lofts, people standing in the back again. it was amazing to me. he really mattered to so many people, and it was good for my grandmother to see them all i think. the funeral procession to the cemetery seemed like it would never end.

his death didn't come as a surprise to anyone, but it was still sad. towards the end he was in terrible pain, always uncomfortable. it's wonderful that he's not anymore, but it's surreal knowing he's gone. my grandmother is an incredibly strong woman and she seems to have a plan for her future. i just hope my crazy aunt doesn't ruin everything, but that's a whole other story.

Monday, August 13, 2007

fuck you at&t

have I ever mentioned i hate monopolies? because they lead to bullshit like me waiting 13 hours for a fucking tech to come out and repair the offices screwed up internet.

helllooo an internet company without reliable internet is not functioning. the worst part is we don't even have att we have time warner but because att owns every single fucking wire in the us we have to work with att.

but enough about that, it is time to kill some time and bust out some blog entries!


Some people call me the cat whisperer. Those people are correct, I am in fact incredibly amazing.

As you might have read on the open letter alicia posted, e11anoire used to be petrified by the massive orbital litter behemoth. Thanks to my excellent fatherhood skills I have removed these fears.

Here is a ordered numeric list of things I did to make this happen

  1. Moved the cat food bowls next to the litter box to remove the fear of being close to the litter robot

  2. Moved the bucket e11anoire was peeing in next to the litter box

  3. Had multiple petting sessions next to the litter box

  4. Many deep and emotional talks discussing the need for proper waste disposal

  5. Made telepathic communication with said cat and removed inner demons from her soul


I watched Fidel Castro the PBS special.

It was awesome.

Ask alicia all about it, oh wait, no scratch that, ask her about the 10 minutes she was awake for, I'm sure she will have exciting commentary


alicia made excellent ice cream today. chocolate and mint, I know you blog readers are like, "yo homey I can get that from blue bell and shit", and I respond "you don't know shit until you had mint that actually tastes like a plant instead of a menthol cigarette"

Sunday, August 12, 2007

this book doesn't have any answers!

I have to say I was crazy surprised with how much I liked the Simpsons movie.

Now I know what you are thinking, just how drunk were you? And I'll reply, get out of my bidness.

This won't be an in-depth review but basically I really think The Simpsons hasn't been funny in oh 5 years, but the movie just seemed to remind me of the hay day of the series.

Also thanks to ten dollars in tokens I reaffirmed my position as air hockey champion of the universe, on the other hand Alicia firmly cemented her position on the WNBA All Star games thanks to her XTRME hoop fever skills.

free love on the gothic highway

This is quite exciting to me

For some reason I just get great joy out of this font. You know, "Highway Gothic" isn't a bad font by any means, and as the article goes into just makes you think of road trips and ice cream and worlds largest ______.

But this clear view, it has a delicious sweet flavor to it. Lickable, yes. Perhaps even fondlable. It stays true to the original, just perfected. I just love looking at it. I want to make it my default font forever and hug it and have all websites use it. So that is why for my birthday the massive "true love poisons" fan base needs to chip in and buy it for me.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

dear e11anoire:

did you know that as soon as i get out of the shower the first place i dry is my face? did you know that today my towel smelled like cat pee? did you know you've turned me into a paranoid cat pee super-smeller?
just two days ago we were 3/4 of the way to the gym and i almost hyperventilated in the car trying to figure out where "THAT SMELL" was coming from. was it my sports bra? i just threw it on before we left, did i leave it on the floor, on a chair, somewhere e11anoire could've peed on it? in a sniffing panic i tried to pinpoint it but it turned out to be a false alarm.
sometimes coffee smells like pee. i am always on pee alert.

e11anoire, i don't understand. your daddy just got an amazing new litter-orb for you and the other kitties. the old one was gross, falling apart, and stinking up the kitchen. we even let you guys have double the litter box for a while there, you know, for transition. i know how this can be hard for you. have you seen the demo, e11a? it's the only self-cleaning litter box that REALLY WORKS. really. trust me, it won't swallow you whole. there's a seven minute countdown after you exit, you're safe!

it's getting really old chasing you around the house making sure you're not about to shit on our stuff. you've really lost my trust, and it's going to take a lot to gain it back. just yesterday we came home from the gym to find your puke-resembling poo on the floor. oh yes, plus that nice big puddle of piss. did you do that as soon as we locked the door? i think we're going to have to start faking you out when we leave, like strict parents do when they have to make sure the kids don't have boys hidden in the closet or a party 2 minutes after leaving the house. i'll shut the door, wait outside, and run back in so fast your little butt will vacuum that poop right back up and off my shoes.

the other day you walked right up to me and started crying in my face. you never do this. i knew what was happening. you started looking all around in a kitty panic, trying to find The Spot. you drunkenly swayed into the kitchen and started half-crouching, half-walking RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. i didn't know what to do. i yelled at you, "SERIOUSLY?! you're two feet away from the litter-box!!" you were gone, you started losing your semi-solid deep dark moss green shit everywhere. when i was done cleaning your mighty green goo there was a stain on the caulk between the tiles.
while that was the grossest, whether it's because i saw it dropping from your ass all over the kitchen floor, or because of the wretched baby poo smell, or because half of it was so runny and wound up smearing while i tried to clean it, i'm sure it wasn't the last time. you've made me compromise me kitty-business values. i truly appreciated it those times last week when instead of ruining an entire load of laundry, you just went in the mop bucket. really, e11anoire, from the bottom of my heart: that was considerate, and thank you. i've been cleaning a lot lately and i understand you're having to get creative with where to pee and poo. the bucket was genius. please, if we slip up and leave a t-shirt or boxers or a single sock on the floor, please please please don't take it as an invitation. it's not. if you must go somewhere that is not the litter-orb, keep it in the bucket. and please don't make me watch.

this kind of behavior will not do little cat. i can't even use the "i'm not mad, i'm just disappointed" line on you. i am furious. do you know how much pine-sol i've been through? how much murphy's oil? the pledge "just pour it on" floor cleaner is almost empty.
and your shit is looking increasingly not right. oh what you're doing to your little bowels and bladder. this is not healthy. please. give the litter robot a chance. it can be your new best friend if you try.

Friday, August 3, 2007

makes me think of grandma

she collects pigs, although hers are a bit cuter than this. if this one was in her collection, it would steal the place of the 1/2" miniature pig as my favorite.

so this is love

hey hey you you
i don't like your handbag
hey hey you you
i think you could do better

and ps: if i could wear this all autumn i'd be the happiest girl ever. cold weather is key when falling in love, thus my favorite time of year.

true confessions

i once called in sick to work pretending to be very distraught about a break up, but really i was just way too high to function.
funlavy was fun.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

nick jr is color blind

there's no brown in the dora the explorer watercolor-coloring book set