festival guidelines

• if you're going to take your shirt off and stand right fucking next to people in a packed crowd, please make sure your back is not covered in zits and fuzz.
• if you're going to be a big sweatball and walk back and forth between thousands of people please make sure you thoroughly wash an dry your clothes. if you don't take proper care you smell overwhelmingly like mildew. DRY YOUR FUCKING CLOTHES ASSHOLE.
• if you're going to have a dance party (of one) please make sure your stupid sweaty elbows are clear from my face. i have glasses dickwad.
• if you have to girl pee, don't.
• if you're ron paul, give away free ICE COLD water right by the festival entrance. thanks ron paul!
• if you're going to bitch about all the "new shit" the band is playing, at least know the "old shit."
• if you're lcd soundsystem, fucking rock out. thanks lcd soundsystem!
• if you're really hot, go to the misting fans. "this feels like love!"
• if you're the gotan project, complete my life.
• if you're in the fucking way when my boyfriend's about to puke, move the hell away.
• if you're going to lie down while you wait for the show to start, move your fucking blanket when the show starts. it's just stupid to bitch about people stepping on your space when things get going. five people could fit in your "personal space."
• if you're bringing your two year old daughter to the front row, put some ear plugs in her! seriously people, i'm all for sharing awesomeness with the kids, but she was miserable and that's just wacky.
• if you're going to acl, run into me twice. what are the odds?!